Your resolutions fail because you're being a copycat

I love the time between Christmas and January, because I chill the f out with my thoughts while people are obsessing over god knows what (the despair of the Christmas high they tripped themselves into being over versus their dreadful fake deadlines restarting?).

A lot of people quit their New Year resolutions on “Quitter’s Day”, generally considered the second Friday of January mostly because they were aiming to the sun but it’s really cloudy right now, hard to see where it is.

If you’re anything like me and the algorithm suddenly decides you want to change your life, you’ve been blasted the last couple of weeks full of promises that things will be better, bigger, bolder this year. That you need to plan, you need to prepare, you need to dream, you need to DO DO DO DO do baby shark DO DO DO.

Oh wait, not that one.

Anyway, YOU NEED TO START DOING IT. And you should follow this and that, and copy her and her and them, maybe buy this online course when free advice blows up in your face because you can’t follow what I do because I’m me and you’re you.

Back into the de-influencing rabbit hole

So I did what a sane person would do and I picked up a book instead. I revisited Doom & Bloom by Struthless, because I love the exercises and the way he writes (and those last pages with the DO SHIT manifesto broke the crap out of me when I first read it, some ugly tears. Saving that for another rant).

And this quote hits exactly right:

Doom & Bloom, by Campbell Walker (Struthless)

In life, we can copy the routines of successful people all we want (…).

Who wouldn’t want to have the life that discipline builds? But if you’re looking after a sick parent and have a baby on the way and a debt collector at your door, you shouldn’t beat yourself up if you fall short.

While binging videos and essays on business, I realized (again) that many influencers teach success by turning you into someone who teaches success, with very little proof of execution of real world stuff. And they do it with full teams and resources we don’t have, and left to wonder why we fail our resolutions so often.

This attempt of straight up copying instead of researching and applying, is why I used to write less, when I should’ve been doing the opposite: creating more, practicing, and paying more attention to people who create things I enjoy.

It’s a little embarrassing. I’m a Tumblr girl, remember? I write shitty poetry, take bad photos, and make what Picasso would call caveman drawings, for my own enjoyment (and ego). I write to entertain myself and want to share it with my clique (tribe, club, community, whatever). That’s follows my resolution for three years now: to be, and to not be alone while being.

Winter is a Season

Anyway, now that we’re in a safer place, let’s chat.

Winter is not the season of flourishing. That’s for spring. Winter, is cold and brutal calculation. Get some rest, keep expectations low, start small.

What have I been doing? Mostly, look into my long-term vision instead of what I want this year. Where am I at? Conserve the boost of energy from too many ideas at once, and make your scheming face, like you’re Kaz Brekker and you’re planning to destroy someone, brick by brick. But like, do it for something good, okay?

Then to ensure there’s some momentum, think of little challenges, and doing things that scare you, like thinking about the future in a positive light.

These two were what I settled on these last weeks: Training my sleeping cycle with a sunrise alarm (mixed results so far), and applying the 2-minute rule, which, boy, did it make a difference. Tricking myself into doing small tasks adds up really quickly into having an organized space. Who knew?

If it takes less than 2 minutes, do it now. If you hear birds singing at 6:30 am, well that’s pretty nice too.

In all these actions, there’s a common thread: I’m mostly being an impostor. If you pretend you know what you’re doing, you might be surprised that it can stack into you actually learning what to do.

A letter to those who are afraid of cleaning up your email

Your brain is more capable than you think. You’re making excuses. If you really need that email, categorize and save it. You don’t need to keep receipts for free games. You don’t need ads, expired coupons, or newsletters you promised yourself you’d read later and now you have +500 unread emails.

For shame! Apply rules and filters to your email and unsubscribe from things that you don’t support. Put a tv show on the background or some vapid content to get that dopamine hit if you’re really that desperate.

Also, turn off your non-essential notifications on your phone as much as possible. This has become essential for me, because I have too many different projects and I can’t pay attention to them all the time. I keep the essential chats notified, so people that matter most can reach me, and everything else needs to wait for its slot.

A list of goals if you want to fail them fast

Read X books

Here’s a list of 20 books I read this year.

Kidding. Do you think I have time T_T What kind of goal is that, girl?!

I read 2 books. One was Doom & Bloom (I adored), the other was Onyx Storm (which I didn’t really like, HAHA). And considering everything else that happened in 2025, what an achievement. Instead of settling on a number, think about what you want to learn instead. Make the number ridiculously small. Say you want to read 20 pages a month.

Travel more

I didn’t travel abroad in 2025 at all. That’s what the purpose of this goal sorta was. And yet! Gosh, did it feel like I lived a thousand lives and moved so much inside my own country. Why do you want to travel? Where, to do what?

Go to the gym 3 times a week

Yet again… with what time, from where, with the amount of other commitments you know you’d rather do? I went to the gym an average of once a week last year. 20-year-old me would NEVER.

Become rich

I’m very rich in friendship and dreams. Goal achieved? Instructions unclear.

You got this, cool beans (Photo by Caraianu Camelia on Unsplash)

That’s to say, you can do whatever you want, fail all your goals, find new ones, replace them at all times. Just ask yourself every day if you’re feeling the value of what you’re doing. If not, change something small.

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So if Quitter’s Day exists and you’re past it, goals or no goals, congrats! Sit down, sip some tea, and plan a small action. You can pretend you know how to do it, no reinventions or manifestos. One brick, winter-approved.