Thoughts on decaf

I’m not a fan of caffeine. At its best, it makes me sick to my stomach and droopy; at its worst, it turns me into a shaken—not stirred—cocktail, where I have neither energy nor the ability to chill.

I drink the occasional coffee when the sun is shining, though more often it’s decaf. I drink tea too. Maybe some electrolytes if I’m taking the gym more seriously (always debatable).

But most days, I don’t take anything special to manage my energy. Like a psycho, I just get up, go about my business (sometimes even skipping breakfast!), and jump headfirst into whatever mayhem can be caused that day.

My fuel is some type of angry scratch music

Here’s the kicker: I don’t even sleep well. I don’t keep a regular sleep schedule, and I constantly worry that I’m shaving years off my life because of it.

Yet, as a society, it’s mandatory we go through our wellness phases. Clean girl, goblin mode, almond mom, dirt girl. Constantly redefining what we should be doing, normally through that ugly capitalist lens, figuring out expensive concoctions to feel alive (mushrooms, flowers, coffee pooped by a wild cat).

If coffee is the answer, why do you look so upset, girly?

And here’s a funny thing. A recent market study (source: my friends) suggests that 95% of people who drink coffee are still always complaining about having no energy!

It makes me wonder, maybe energy doesn’t just come from what we consume. Maybe it comes from wanting something really bad. And maybe real energy management isn’t about quick fixes, but about recognizing when we’ll run out before we actually do. Just like in exercise, knowing the moment when it’s too much for our body to handle.

For some of my friends, managing energy isn’t just about preference, it’s a necessity. They have conditions that require them to be mindful of their full day agenda. And in a society still so obsessed with hustle culture (or its sneaky rebrand as “rest culture”), I can only imagine the invisible pressure they feel to “keep up”. We often impose these pressures on ourselves.

What I’ve found is that my energy comes from moving forward. Having different projects I can bounce between gives me bursts of energy that strict routines never could. But I’ve also learned that anxiety can drain that energy just as quickly. The key is choosing what I can safely engage in, and when I need help.

Sometimes, that starts with drinking a decaf, even if I have to always deal with some addict’s comment of drinking dirty chemical bean water (dude, seriously?).

If I ever have to organize an event about energies I will probably fold into myself and collapse.

Let’s talk about society’s addiction to coffee for a second. It reminds me a lot of our obsession with alcohol (P.S. Stop making people feel bad for not drinking, you assholes). We’re all chasing a magical formula: to be happy, to be loose, to stop worrying. But then we stress-pile our bodies with literal poisons and expect to function at peak performance. And I know that there are studies saying that caffeine is good for you! I just doubt they were talking about drinking coffee like it’s the nineties and you need to smoke two packs a day and four redbulls before noon.

Me drinking decaf out of a coffee mug, oh no

Having to organize and attend a lot of events, there’s always some stress added into the mix. Coffee fuels the early hours; alcohol often fuels the later ones. The longer the event runs, the more we lean on these quick fixes—when, honestly, the real answer is much simpler.

Don’t wanna look and feel like a raisin? Drink some water. Step outside for a few minutes and catch from fresh air. Leave early if you need to. Actually try to sleep instead of acting like a lunatic when someone makes a mistake. We often give so little benefit on what a strategic pause can do for our energy.

Not everything in life needs a stimulant, or a sedative. Sometimes, you just need a glass of H₂O.